This weekend we were talking to our eldest daughter and I realized something.
I don’t think we have taught our kids how to deal with emotional clutter.
How do you deal with everything that happens to you? It is a good question.
What do you do when you are hurt, sad, lonely, confused, happy, etc. I know in the last two years I have been trying to teach the kids to turn to Heavenly Father. Maybe I just haven’t been specific enough. It seems real simple to me now, but probably not so simple to a kid.
Our oldest child is almost 14. She has been having a lot of difficulties with bullying at school and in our ward and stake. It has become apparent to me that when things just get too much for her she finally emotionally explodes.
I think I am finally putting some of the pieces of the puzzle together. When she has a bad day or week she gets distant. She yells more at her siblings and sometimes literally strikes out at them. She will get real short with me and talks back.
I asked her why she doesn’t come and talk to me when something happens at school and she says it is because she doesn’t want to cry. She doesn’t want us to try and fix things for her. She said only her friends understand her and yet her friends have hurt her pretty bad.
She doesn’t know what to do when the explosion has occurred. She gets frustrated.
When I was a kid, it wasn’t safe to melt down at home. My explosions sometimes came out at school, but mostly there occurred internally. I probably made myself sick. I guess I could consider it progress that she feels safe enough at home to explode. Maybe...
I told her that she has a wonderful thing that I didn’t. She has the gift of the Holy Ghost.
We’ve talked about turning to Heavenly Father about all our feelings. Thanking Him when something good happens or when He has helped you with something. Turning to Him when you are sad, lost, and angry. But for some reason it has not clicked.
It is like she stacks boxes and boxes of things inside and cannot seem to climb her way out.
I do not know if I’m teaching her wrong or if she just young and will figure it out. But, I definitely feel like I need to focus more with the kids on how to better deal with all the things that happens to us in life. How to not let our insides get all cluttered so that we cannot feel the Spirit.
I do not know - I guess I’m going to ponder more about this whole thing and talk to my sponsor.
Thanks for listening,
For those of us who can't get it all together, or if we have, have forgotten where we put it
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