thoughts from this Monday and Tuesday

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Celeste
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:15 pm
Location: North Charleston, SC
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thoughts from this Monday and Tuesday

Post by Celeste » Tue Nov 08, 2011 11:37 am

We read from the HDDM prep questions for the 5th step. As I am reading through the archive copy, my mind balked at the idea once again of not looking for validation or recognition of a job well done. That old sickness in me of having such a great "need" for attention, strokes. Yet when I get any compliments, I am uncomfortable and at the same time I creep away and wallow in grandiose dreams of how great I am, how smart, whatever. As this old behavior struck me, I was inspired to think the simple loving word: service. Whatever I do in life is a service of some sort to others which means it's a service to God. My strokes can be those of pleasure in giving, loving. I used to give, give, give, but it was for attention, not service. I just had a thought that I need to service myself too. I tend to lose that when I focus on serving others. You would think by now I would realize I need to come first in order to have anything to give. I need rest, food, sleep, shelter in order to function at any level of service. I know if God has a special service for me that he would provide whatever energy I would need to accomplish it. I have to understand, special service is not a common place daily occurrence. Even that requires having lived in such a way as to be prepared to do it. Food does not have to mean fruit, veggies, meat,etc. It is also mind and heart food, spiritual food. I apologize for rambling along here with my exploring this concept/principle. I still have pondering to do on this line of thought.
Celeste: Sometimes people get the mistaken notion that spirituality is a separate department of life, the penthouse of existence. But rightly understood, it is a vital awareness that pervades all realms of our being. -- Brother David Steindl-Rast

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