Learning this was huge for me. I didn’t remember that from taking the missionary discussions. I didn’t understand that it was okay to be angry with my Heavenly Father. I couldn’t admit it out loud for so long. But, once I could admit my anger and write about it, I could get past those feelings and get started on the healing.Yes, you heard me correctly. It really is okay for you to admit to Heavenly Father that you’re mad at Him, or at the very least, that you’re really confused and frustrated toward Him and His “great plan of happiness.”2
I went to this meeting at Family Services for wives and when they discussed being angry at God - the women went nuts and said that the teacher was being blasphemous. It did not go well at all - but I understood what he was trying to say.
It is okay to be angry. Someone else’s agency has affected us by no fault of our own except marrying this person. I prayed and received a witness that I was supposed to marry my husband. Well, why would I receive confirmation to marry an S.A. Wasn’t surviving my childhood enough.
I think it is normal to be angry. Even if I didn’t say at the time I was angry He knew. I mean He is all knowing and He knows my heart better than me.
Learning to pour out my entire soul to Him was so powerful. I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father is great enough to hear everything and still love me. That He is compassionate and loving enough to love me despite myself.
When we can be completely honest with the Lord - when can truly start to receive His redeeming grace. It is so powerful when we can whole heartedly give Him our honest pain holding nothing back. It is amazing when you have been so humbled and brought to your knees - your pride has been torn away and you have nothing else to do but lay yourself at His feet and just simply say, “Lord, I’m a sinner. I am nothing without Thee. I can not do anything without Thee. Please take me in Thy arms and heal me." The price has been paid and we can start to heal - we just have to surrender to His will. He will provide the way for us to heal.
The relationship I have know with my Heavenly Father and Savior is so much more powerful than the one I had before I knew about my husband’s addiction. For that I am so very grateful.