I wish it all happened in a day :-/. Yesterday was a good day as far as my actions are concerned, but the feeling I have is still pretty rotten! I feel depression - like I am trapped in a dark box. I'm so disappointed in myself for falling so below expectation of myself. I am letting down so many...
I reached out to a therapist this week to see if I could talk through some things with him. I have never done this before, so I hope this ends up being something different that will help give me some more hope to hang onto.
54 And your minds in times past have been darkened because of unbelief, and because you have treated lightly the things you have receivedâ€”
55 Which vanity and unbelief have brought the whole church under condemnation.
56 And this condemnation resteth upon the children of Zion, even all.
57 And they shall remain under this condemnation until they repent and remember the new covenant, even the Book of Mormon and the former commandments which I have given them, not only to say, but to do according to that which I have writtenâ€”
58 That they may bring forth fruit meet for their Fatherâ€™s kingdom; otherwise there remaineth a scourge and judgment to be poured out upon the children of Zion.
These are words I posted yesterday as well but they are still on my mind. In this day of technology, many minds have been darkened. Even if not acting out, it is so hard to avoid inappropriate advertisements, etc that effect having the Spirit enlightening our minds (my mind anyway). Every time an advertisement that is slightly inappropriate is viewed, it darkens me somewhat. It has an effect. Where once may have been pure light, that light now becomes slightly dimmed.
I also think that having constant access to technology has some downside, even if not acting out. Habitually filling extra time in the mind by accessing phone for whatever purpose means less time for pondering and creative thinking. Fills in a void in the mind with something bland where there may have been opportunity for light, revelation, inspiration.
So what is the answer on how to keep my mind from darkening? How do I keep myself energized with light?
14 And those who receive it in faith, and work righteousness, shall receive a crown of eternal life;
15 But those who harden their hearts in unbelief, and reject it, it shall turn to their own condemnationâ€”
16 For the Lord God has spoken it; and we, the elders of the church, have heard and bear witness to the words of the glorious Majesty on high, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
I don't think it is a matter of me resting the Book of Mormon or other scriptures. But rather a matter of softening my heart to the messages the words hold. The words cannot simply be read. They must be allowed to change me. They must inspire me and prompt me to action. I must allow a time and place for that to happen and write about it.
There are opportunities for uplifting around me. My mind has been darkened to them, but I hope that I can begin to see. There is opportunity to be happy and to rejoice, and to lift others, and as a by product lift myself. The opportunity cannot be seen with a darkened mind, but I sense that the opportunity is there. I pray the opportunities will be revealed to me and that I will receive them. I sense it will lead to more smiling and more happiness. Less focus on myself, but more confidence in myself.
Time to face another day. Hope you all have a great one.
No questions, no advice, just sharing
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