Let My Ways Become Thy Ways

Finding balance in our relationships

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PegW
Posts: 115
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 3:44 pm
Location: Salt Lake
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Let My Ways Become Thy Ways

Post by PegW » Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:37 pm

Something happened to me on Sunday that illustrates the principle of being able to receive the rest of the Lord only through repentance—through turning our hearts to the Lord. (See HDDMFB, p.99)

There have been many challenges to my codependent tendencies this week. Each challenge, I've brought to the Lord for His counsel. I won't go into details about what my challenges were. That is not necessary or usually very useful since the details of all of our challenges vary so much. It's the answer that never varies: COME UNTO CHRIST.

For days, a great deal of confusion has been swirling around within me, destroying my peace. I've talked to several trusted friends about my challenges, seeking advice. Sunday morning, I got up out of bed, singing:

I need Thee, oh! I need Thee!
Every hour I need Thee!
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

(Hymns #98 )

I went to my computer to counsel with the Lord—a habit that has become my lifeline to sanity over the past four plus years. The thought came to me that I am too easily swayed by others—not just anyone, but by those whom I respect and love a great deal. I had received some advice from someone I respect a great deal in what would be best to do.

As I counseled with the Lord, He brought into my mind one of the Traditions of HtH—Tradition 12—and I realized that the advice I had received went against that tradition. Hmmm. I have struggled with what to do for days, feeling only confusion. Another dear friend reminded me that if there is any confusion in my mind about something, it isn't an inspired idea—that following the Lord should feel light and easy.

One morning this week as I came to the Lord in my capturing, He led me to Isaiah 55.

In verse 2, I read: "Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness"—

Wherefore do I spend my soul for that which is not the Bread of Life? And my labor or my time and my effort for that which does not and cannot satisfy? HEARKEN DILIGENTLY UNTO ME, PEG, AND EAT THAT WHICH IS GOOD, AND LET YOUR SOUL DELIGHT ITSELF IN FATNESS FOR THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN SATISFY THEE EXCEPT FOR ME.

What I then learned related very specifically to the challenges I have right now. I was brought back to the solid footing of placing my trust only in the Lord and in His counsel through the verses He led me to and the words He brought into my mind.

A little later on, I talked with my friend and she reiterated her advice to me. "No, I feel this is what I should do," I said, and then I told her of a course of action that felt light and easy to me.

What rest came unto my soul in that moment as I recognized the Lord is with me in this decision.

Isaiah 55--

10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

AND I WILL WATER THEE WITH THE TRUTH WHICH RAINS FROM MY MOUTH AND WILL WASH THEE WHITE AS SNOW. YEA, I WILL WATER THINE EARTH AND CAUSE IT TO BRING FORTH ABUNDANTLY FROM THE SEED OF LOVE I PLANT WITHIN THINE HEART UNTIL YOU BLOSSOM INTO ALL YOU CAN BE, BELOVED. SO SHALL MY WORD BE THAT COMES FORTH, IN COUNSEL, OUT OF MY MOUTH INTO THINE HEART. MY WORD SHALL NOT RETURN UNTO ME, VOID, BUT SHALL ACCOMPLISH ALL THAT OUR FATHER ENVISIONS FOR THEE. IT SHALL PROSPER IN THEE AND BRING FORTH JOY, PEACE, LIFE IN ABUNDANCE, EVEN LIFE CREATIVE.

12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

AND THE WHOLE EARTH SHALL BREAK FORTH INTO SINGING AND SHALL CLAP THEIR HANDS, FOR WHEN MY WORD TAKES SEED IN THEE, THAT WHICH IS WEAK BECOMES STRONG AND GROWS INTO A MIGHTY TREE. Lord, I looked up the word, fir tree, and found "renewal of the earth." YES, PEG! YOU ARE BORN AGAIN IN ME AND BECOME A NEW WOMAN, A "NEW EARTH," AND LIVE IN THE HIGHER WAY—HEAVEN, ALIVE IN THINE OWN HEART. AND THEN MY WAYS DO INDEED BECOME THY WAYS.

But, my story doesn't end there.

Since Sunday's capturing, I have wavered back-and-forth. I've questioned my decision.

I sat in the meeting on Tuesday, so full of nervous energy, again distraught over the whole issue. Monday, I had a bad day—eating out-of-control, afraid to face something in myself, I think.

I had been capturing during the reading and leader's sharing, and had just asked: "And You still love me, my Lord? OF COURSE. LISTEN TO WHAT _________ JUST POSTED IN THE MEETING:

This is what was shared: "(There's no qualifier to the next statement. I know continually---even when I waver---that He loves me with a perfect love that NEVER wavers.)"

You love me still, even when I waver and lose faith, heeding my fears more than Thee, my Lord! I ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVE THEE, PEG.

And then, the Lord opened up my understanding to His way of handling a very difficult situation. It was an abusive situation, but He gave me a way to eliminate any possibility of abuse. It was not something any of those who had been advising me even mentioned.

It was not something I had thought of on my own, either.

LET MY WAYS BECOME THY WAYS, DEAR PEG. I will, my Lord. Thank You!

Colleen Barton
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:38 pm
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Post by Colleen Barton » Sat Nov 01, 2008 6:34 am

What a wonderful share and capturing. It is so wonderful to me that we can share our personal revelation and the things we learn from the spirit as we read and ponder the scriptures and not be codependent about it. We can take what we like (or more true, take what the Spirit translates to our hearts) and leave the rest and especially leave the personality behind.
I was so grateful for a reminder that the Lord's answers are peaceful and that sometimes, even my most trusted friends can say the wrong thing for me. This is hard to do if I am not looking to the Lord for recovery from my codependency. I get so lonely sometimes. I want a person to give me an answer simply so I can have a moment's connection with them.
I am reminded that it is better for me to connect with the Lord and gain peace even unto losing all feelings of lonliness than to have that moment and have so much unrest when I am left to myself. STill, lonliness can take me to the Lord so even it has it's purposes. Mostly I just wanted to say thanks for the connection in Christ here on the forum. I can have my cake and eat it too and have companionship with a fellowship that rejoices in Christ with me. Thanks again. CB

Tricia V
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 6:20 am
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Post by Tricia V » Sat Nov 01, 2008 8:49 pm

Thanks for sharing, peg. I'm reminded of "how firm a foundation", especially the bonus verses.

KatieN
Posts: 38
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:54 pm
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Post by KatieN » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:58 pm

Peg - Wow, I've really been having a struggle with codependent behavior vs. standing up for myself in my marriage this week and your post really comforted and redirected my soul to my Savior.

Thank you for reminding me that His ways are light and easy, because I have felt very burdened :)

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