hello everybody

Recovery from s~xual addiction

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cognitions
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 6:35 pm
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hello everybody

Post by cognitions » Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:57 pm

I hope that everybody is doing well with everything. I hope that you guys are not disappointed in me. After a month of abstaining I gave into it today. I feel horrible like I am starting over again. I do now realize what brought me to this point. I felt so good the last few days like I was finally in control and yesterday I went surfing on the internet on the thought that I was just being curious. Well I looked at some images but I thought I was alright and could handle it. Well they kept popping into my head. The spirit warned me of danger but i ignored it and thought "ive been so good I deserve a little" well that was the mistake. So here I am. This addiction is so overwhelming to me. I know that I have to work hard to overcome this addiction with the Lords help. I am going to do some major soul searching the next few days. I have got to start going to these meetings! From what I have read they help. I am afraid. I am terribly afraid of going to a meeting and seeing someone that knows me. I am going to break this cycle by facing my fears. I will keep everyone posted.

PhilH
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Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:29 am
Location: Northern Utah
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Post by PhilH » Sun Aug 22, 2010 9:25 pm

Your post sounds so familiar. "I've been good so I deserve..." We've all been there. We've all been through that insanity. "I've been good so I deserve to hurt myself." That's what I recognize. The rationalizations Satan puts into our brains are so similar. He's not very original, you know.

I applaud your thoughts about going to meetings, either online or local face-to-face, if you have them. It's an act of humility--of admitting that we need the help, that we really do have the problem. And it's exactly what we need. Working the steps is simply a process of humbling ourselves. Curious that we who have always felt so bad about ourselves have such a problem with pride. But it's true. It's true for every one of us.

Don't feel bad about the abstinence followed by a slip or relapse. It happens to all of us. It's part of the process. We just have to get back up and start again. But it isn't starting over. It's starting from where we are. The month of abstinence still has done you good.

Keep coming back. We love you and need you.

Phil

Arthur
Posts: 22
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2007 1:55 pm
Location: Colorado
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Post by Arthur » Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:35 pm

cognitions,

I just thought I'd mention that I am really excited when I see someone that I know at one of my 12-step meetings. It gives me a sense of camaraderie and a greater sense of sympathy and understanding and patience when I see them in everyday life.

I also remember seeing someone from my 12-step group in the choir at a stake conference that I attended, and it made the experience more special to know something about what he was going through. It made the hymn of praise more meaningful to me just to see him up there.

(I'll also mention that I don't tell anyone - even my wife - about people that I see at the meetings. I do share experiences and things I've learned with my wife, but not any specifics about any person.)

Arthur

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