ARP program specifically for wives

For posting mainly by spouses of s~x addicts. ADDICTS: PLEASE DO NOT POST TO THIS FORUM UNLESS YOU ARE GIVING A SHORT REPLY TO A SPECIFIC REQUEST BY A SPOUSE ON THIS FORUM.

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mabs
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ARP program specifically for wives

Post by mabs » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:34 pm

I have heard about a pilot program for a womens' or family member specific ARP program. Does anyone else have any information about this? Is Colleen working on this? Is there a way to get a hold of this to begin using it in our stake? I see such a huge need. In our stake we do not have a PASAG group. We all just meet together. Although no one talks about their specific addiction, I would make an educated guess that most of them are there because of PA/SA issues.

I know that when I first found out about my husband's SA I had no one to help me or support me. My bishop just kept telling me that I needed to forgive my husband and then I would feel better. I knew at the time that I needed to forgive, but to expect someone to forgive immediately is like expecting a newborn to run a marathon--it ain't gonna happen! I truly want to provide a way for other women so they never have to experience being so alone.

The first ray of hope that I had was attending the Heart t'Heart conference and seeing that there were women who had been through similar experiences and where okay. I think that finding this group saved my life in a very literal sense. I want other women to know that there is help and hope. I just feel such an urgency about getting this type of program going in every stake.

Anyone have any info?

Tricia V
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Post by Tricia V » Sat Nov 01, 2008 8:35 pm

I think I have heard of such groups, but I don't know what's involved in getting one moving. Our stake had a coucilman in charge of the arp meetings.

Colleen H.
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Post by Colleen H. » Sun Nov 02, 2008 1:15 pm

Mabs,

Do you have my email address? If not you can email to help@heart-t-heart.org and ask to have it forwarded to me, or you could go to windhavenpublishing.com and email me through that channel.

I have the name and phone number of the people in the Utah Valley area that have been the spear-head couple (as ARP missionaries) for developing the program specifically for the wives of SA's. I'm sure she would be a great help in your quest.

Colleen

christina
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Post by christina » Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:03 pm

In my area there are 4 ARP groups that are for wifes of s~x addicts. I do know that they do exist
Christina

Grace
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there is a manual

Post by Grace » Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:01 am

I received really strange counsel from my Bishop and Stake President and felt so alone until I found all of you. Thanks for all of your insight - it has only been 11 days since I received the awful news from my husband, and though it is incredibly hard, knowing that others are going through the same things, and reading how you are dealing with them gives me strength. I live in a smaller community, where the church has only one meeting for all addictions, and was talking to our leader after the meeting last week about having a support group specifically for spouses(there is a huge need in our area). He said that probably wasn't likely because there wasn't anyone to be in charge of the meetings. He then pulled out the manuscript that the pilot group in Utah County used and said that it was at the printers in SLC being printed into an offical manual. It sounds like it will be available very soon at distribution centers. Hope the info is helpful!

Colleen H.
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Post by Colleen H. » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:50 pm

Hi, all . . .

I participated on the committee that wrote the ARP Study Guide and I have first hand knowledge that having an "official" piece of literature come out through the LDS Family Services program takes 1-2 years, so that it can be checked and edited by official church editing committees, etc.

Meanwhile, there might be an "unofficial" draft of the literature specifically for wives that is being circulated and shared---and maybe even "at a printer" somewhere . . . but I can pretty much assure you that it won't be sold over the counter at the distribution centers unless its gone through the curriculum committee and the correlation committee.

Just some thoughts based on past experience.

Colleen

Tina Bina
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support in DC

Post by Tina Bina » Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:42 pm

There were years that I tried to deal with this on my own. I pleaded and begged with bishops and our stake president for a spouses group. I was promised one was coming, but that only lead to the non-specific ARP meeting. This forum has also helped me a lot. Thru Heart t' Heart, I connected with a small group two hours from where I lived at the time. I didn't get to meet with them often, but when I did...it felt like a revelation! This was the first time I felt like I wasn't alone. There is something about looking someone in the eyes who really gets it. Now, I feel lucky to have found a spouses group run by LDS Family Services in the greater DC area (out of the Richmond office). They have two wonderful counselors that have been running the group for many years. The women have been very supportive and understanding. I have a move coming up in the next few months, and I feel worried that I won't have the same support where I am headed. There is really such a need for this! Hopefully more programs will spread to areas that will reach more sisters soon.

Jody
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Post by Jody » Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:40 pm

Tina Bina,

We do not have a LDS support group in my area. I found an S-Anon program and have found other LDS women there. It really is a great program - maybe you could see if there is one in your new area.

I am so grateful for my S-Anon support group and the Heart t' Heart phone meeting each week.

Best Wishes on your move,
JoJo

Colleen H.
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Post by Colleen H. » Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:02 am

Tina Bina,

Our one little phone meeting on Thursdays at noon has become a real blessing to me, too.

It would be great to see more phone meetings happen. If that time doesn't work for you, would you post some times that would?

Colleen

Tina Bina
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Post by Tina Bina » Mon Sep 28, 2009 6:01 pm

Thanks, Colleen. That is kind of you. I'm still not sure on the "when" and "where" we will be relocating--my husband is in the military. I will keep the phone meeting in mind if we get shipped off to a place that doesn't have a local group. :)

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